Ace
I went out of the daily planning meeting, slightly frustrated, and not only because it took more than an hour.
I went out of the daily planning meeting, slightly frustrated. Not only did it take more than an hour, but also the team decided to add yet another component to our shiny-whiny social network which already included searching for relatives up to 7th generation and a fortune telling service, not to mention several hundred other handy features.
Ace was waiting for me in our tiny cozy room.
“Wassup, bro?” he asked cheerfully.
“We’ve got a new feature request.”
“And that is?…”
“A module for looking for one’s ideal pair. I assume that we should calculate the matches based on common interests.”
“Hmmm…”
He went silent for a couple of minutes, and I was sure that he already designed an algorithm. Ace was way better in such things than me. Being the only woman in our development team of two, I was responsible for the communication with the people outside our room. Ace implemented the features.
While he was thinking, I made a cup of tea, grabbed a sandwich, and sat down in my super-ergonomic half-intelligent orange chair.
“Sally?”
“Yeah, buddy?”
“Before we start working, maybe you could take a look at what I did last night?…”
Ace was a highly sensitive guy, especially when talking about his hobby. He was drawing cartoons — not like today’s multidimensional virtual reality stuff, but the old fashioned 2D movies the children used to watch in the 20th century.
My partner wasn’t particularly good with plots, but the image was usually outstanding. I encouraged him to go on. After all, we all have our little weaknesses, don’t we?
I looked at the screen. Something that looked like a hedgehog transformed into a bear, then into a mammoth, and back into a tiny sharpy animal. It was wandering a poppy field with a somewhat crazy smile and calling for a horse. I didn’t get the sense of it, but the music was charming, and the imagery genuinely fascinating.
“You are doing better every other time, Ace! What did you call it?”
“A hedgehog is looking for a horse on a poppy field.”
I should’ve guessed.
“All right, time to work…”
In our daily routine, I acted as a navigator. I always admired the speed with which Ace crafted the code. Honestly, he was the very reason why this big company producing an enormous social network needed only a small development team of two of us.
The pairing module was ready in an hour. I looked for an ideal match for me. The module eagerly paired me with me. Weird. I checked one of the marketing guys; the program matched him with himself as well.
“Ace?”
“Yeah, bro? Isn’t this solution awesome, eh?”
“Well, not really. A person shouldn’t be a pair to themselves.”
“Oy. You didn’t mention this requirement.”
“My bad. Let’s try again.”
In half an hour, a new version was ready for testing. I searched for my ideal partner. It was a seven-year-old boy. Indeed, he had similar interests and looked pretty, but…
“Ace?”
“This match is perfect, right?”
“No. People normally tend to feel comfortable with those of a similar age. Let’s say the difference should be no more than 10% of the age of the youngest person.”
“I doubt that would work. As far as I know, some people prefer much younger or much older partners.”
“Ah, I don’t care. Those folks are few. If they start complaining, we’ll fix it later.”
Next try looked promising. I read that guy’s profile carefully, wondering if I ever dare to speak with someone that handsome. He liked the same music I did, played the same games, and preferred the same actors. And he was a year older than me.
“This solution looks good. Oh, wait a second…”
I checked the ideal pair for that guy. It wasn’t me. Ah, what a disappointment.
“Ace?”
“I assume from the tone of your voice that something is wrong again.”
“Yeah… I guess that the matches should be symmetrical. Otherwise, this feature doesn’t make much sense.”
“Aye, bro, it makes perfect sense! My algorithm is unmistakable, so, if the match is symmetrical, then you can be sure that this person is indeed your ideal partner.”
“Okay then, how many people have symmetrical matches? Tell me the share.”
“Gimme several minutes…”
I made another cup of tea and grabbed a piece of cheese.
“The share is 0.02 percent.”
“This won’t go. How can one sell a feature that works for two people in 10000? Let’s make all matches symmetrical.“
“Ahem. It looks like a maximum weight matching problem in a graph with several billion vertices. It’s gonna take some time, you know?”
“I believe in you, bro.”
“You may go home then. I won’t finish before tomorrow morning.”
“Okay. See you tomorrow!”
That was the very reason I liked my work: I had only to formulate the task and make sure it met our expectations. ASDS-47, or Automated Software Development System, version 47, whom I called “Ace”, was the one who did the job.
© Mariya Davydova 2019
